Luce-what lies beneath the smile..

Hi everyone! I am so excited that it is finally Saturday and it is MY turn to share. Not that I like to talk about me, but I do like to write. Writing for me has been a passion since I was first able to pick up a crayon. Finding someone to read was a different story, so many of my early creativity sits in a metal fireproof box in my house, tucked away, saved for a rainy day that I will eventually pull them out and read.

Who am I? Hmmm. Krista probably said it best....I could be considered the Mama of the group. I am the oldest. 41. NOW...before you go shaking your head...I don't LOOK 41 and I certainly don't act like I am 41. I consider myself young. I went through a rocky seperation of a 16 year relationship when I was 39, so when I turned 40...it was the NEW ME time. I feel like life has truly just begun.

I wear many hats. I am a Mother first and foremost. I have the most amazing three children. I have a son who is 13 and two daughters that are 11 and 6. Becoming a Mother was definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me and defined who I was as a person and what my *role* was here on earth. I love my children with all that I am. They grew beneath my heart and I brought them to life. I can't think of anything greater I could have done.

I love with all my being. That is a huge character flaw in me. Flaw? Yes. Because there is no half way with me and that has led to many failed relationships and many heartaches. Loving fully and completely is a hard concept for some people to understand. But when I get hurt, the claws come out and watch out. I burn the bridge and there is no going back. I am done. This includes family, friends, and lovers. It's my guard and the walls surround me.

I sound cold. And to some I probably am. But it is a defense mechanism I learned a long time ago, I don't let many people *in*....I could love you with all my being,,,doesn't mean you are *in.*

I collect postcards and thimbles. I have a huge collection of both and absolutely love collecting them. In the corner of my dining room I have a beautiful curio cabinet filled with all sorts of treasures. Little things given to me by friends and family. Some days when I am sad I will just glance at the cabinet and know the trinkets are there and I feel not so alone.

I graduated with my Bachelors in English. I dreampt all my life of being a teacher and making a difference. When children came along, I decided to put my career on hold and stay home with them and I have never ever regretted that decision.

I waitress for a chain restaurant. I have worked at this place for 12 years. I love my job most of the time and enjoy what I do.

I love the 80's. Any cheesy Big Hair band from that era and I miss my BIG bangs...ooh do I ever. A can of Aqua net and I was set for hours...Add to that my pink frosted lipstick...oooh yeah!

Wondering what I look like overall? Well I am tall. Very tall. 5 foot 10 to be exact. I have always felt like the odd one out. Years of anorexia and ocd and here I am...still battling my weight and striving to find out who is behind the smile that everyone always compliments. I am a big girl, but currently on a new eating plan and already have lost about 12 pounds and slowly but surely going to do it this time, to be healthy for ME!

I love all sorts of music. There isn't one category that I love more than another. My stereo in my car has the vast amount of stations saved ranging from easy listening to country to hard rock. Music is what I escape to when I need a break.

I am engaged to a man that lives 365.8 miles away. He is the man that I have been looking for all my life but had to go through many lessons and situations to find and now it is OUR time. He adds so much to my life and I am so happily in love with him.

Well folks..that's a little bit of who "Luce" is...welcome to my world...:)